It Really Irks Me
by TheWhyteRabbyt
Summary: The lives of the characters of Invader Zim are wrought with miscommunication, misfortune, and moose. Zim loves Gaz.Dib loves Tak, who has never returned. Skoodge, Gir, and Minimoose have their own adventure. Space fights, near death and jelly ensue.
1. Chapter 1

Hello new world... *shy* Im TheWhyteRabbyt. This is my first published fanfic. I've read and researched a lot, and now want to bring my work to you. I do my best to check grammar, spelling, and relation to canon. I mean no offense, and I try not to make mistakes. I really hope you enjoy my story.

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

I pressed the flats of my feet against the robot's arm to keep it at bay. It leaned in farther, threatening to crush me, despite the strength of my legs. I braced myself against the dirty stone wall and started to reflect on how this all came to be; why I was on a foreign, desert planet in what seemed to be a post-apocalyptic rendition of New York City dropped in the middle of the Sahara, complete with the sunset lighting.

I decided to blame Zim, since he started it all by being sent to stupid Earth. If only he had just been a good Invader, or even competent. Then, he would've stayed with the Irken Armada, and we would've never met.

We would have never fallen in love.

Chapter 1

It just wasn't fair.

I wanted her, but she didn't want me back. It made sense; I was _hideously _ugly compared to these human earth-monkeys! My green skin, in comparison to their disgusting whiteness…. White, what a boring color….

I digress: the point is, the human worm-baby didn't like me the way I liked her, and as any of you other foolish _humans_ would understand, that makes the grotesque existence of _pathetic high school… _well, miserable. That purple-haired demon has penetrated every _fiber _of my amazing existence! She even traverses my misty and delicious mind-films which humans call dreams. I have often come close to telling her how I feel, but every time I start to, I realize she has her…delightful…nose buried in one of her pathetic entertainment machines! She's always pressing _buttons _and making little _beep, beep _noises. Oh, how I hate those foolish machines!

Of course, I have her ridiculously big-headed brother to speak to about the whole affair. I won him over simply by giving him the blueprints to the Massive (curse those backstabbing, tallest enemies of _Zim_!). How pathetically easy he is to please. As easy as a piece of Meekrobian floistcake melts during a Venusian lunar cycle. He and I have been… _friends_… ever since. In the end, that pitiful human needs me too. He loves that horribly cruel, albeit intelligent, _Tak._ He has since elementary school. He awaits her return, like most wet-eyed females of human soap operas await their supposedly-alive-yet-stated-dead mates. Odd, I wonder if he exhibits any other female tendencies….

He and I often discuss our romantic maladies. Why the females we desire don't desire us. Who wouldn't? I, the almighty and all-attractive Zim? And he, the big-headed yet intelligent but easy-to-control Dib-beast? Why, on any other puny planet, we would be worshipped as _gods_ for our greatness! Yet here, on this pathetic hunk of rock in the far reaches of unforgiving space, we rot out our existences, beating our chests with the desire of our loves.

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><p>Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of my story... As long as I get 1 review on each chapter, I will update as soon as I am notified. I figure, as long as there's one person who cares enough to say something, there's a reason to keep updating. Enjoy!

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

That stupid Zim.

I don't know how he can still act like he doesn't know me, after all these years of being Dib's lame friend. Sometimes he seems to be genuinely interested in my life, almost like he cares. Unfortunately, it's just not true. Every time I actually start to inch in closer to him, or start to ask why he cares about me, he just starts to stutter and he bolts up to Dib's room or the kitchen, claiming he's forgotten something.

Idiot.

It has to be obvious by now how much I like him…stupid me.

I don't even know how it started. Maybe it was when he started coming over all the time to hang out with Dib. Maybe it was the first time he stayed over to watch _Mysterious Mysteries_ with us, and I realized how he was my one and probably only chance at achieving my dream.

I never hated _Mysterious Mysteries_. Sure, I told Dib that I did to make him feel bad about being a dweeb, but I lied. In a weird way, I kind of loved that show, mainly the parts about aliens. I've always hated Earth. I hated all of it: the leaders of all the countries down to the annoying screaming baby that lived next door. I wanted to go far, far away from all this stupidity and I figured the best way to do that would be to get abducted by aliens. That, or kill myself, and since I wasn't much for self-harm, I decided I liked the first option better.

I waited my whole life for them to come, but they never did. Not until Zim. So I guess I really did start liking him that night, the night I looked over at his face—rigid with concentration on the T.V. program—and realized how badly I wanted him to take me away.

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><p>Not gonna do a disclaimer every single chapter. One should suffice. I'm pretty sure Nickelodeon doesn't really care what we do, considering they ousted the show in the first place.<p>

Anyway, just letting you know, I got like, 8 chapters already waiting for your tasty shlorr-beast reviews!

Thanks for reading, till next time filthy hyoomans!


	3. Chapter 3

Guess who made wafffffffffffffles! Just kidding, but I made some tasty waffle-like chapters for you guys! Two more reviews, two more chapters. I'm glad it's satisfying so far. By the way, if you have any ideas or things you'd like to see, please add them in the reviews or PM me. I want to make the most satisfying fanfic ever! Enjoy!

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><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

It was morning. I could tell from the smell of waffles and Gir screaming at his friend Pig that yes, tea and waffles _did _taste good together. I sighed and disengaged my Pak from the plug in my oh-so-warm-and-comfy Sleeper Seat. I pulled on my boots and gloves and stretched, glad that Irken clothing adapts to size, lest I be forced to wear pathetic _human _clothing. I, Zim the amazing, should _never _be forced to wear an inferior species' clothing.

These filthy stink-beasts are inferior to my _amazing_ species in all ways…except one. They all grow so fast…and so tall! How do they do it? These humans have something in their bodies that makes them grow…sometimes even taller than my… ex-Tallest. Sometimes I almost feel lucky to have Dib for a friend, so he could tell me what it was…_almost_. I, the almighty Zim, would have found it eventually! With or without that worm-baby's help! I had to, or my mission would have been ruined! All the stink-children would have kept growing, and I, the all-powerful Zim would have remained… ugh, _short_.

Yet here I was, sitting pretty at 6 human feet, and still wearing my Invader's uniform! If I ever returned to Irk, I _had_ to thank the scientist in charge of designing these threads. They were amazing, and made me feel all wiggly, like mission goo. Delicious, purple mission goo….

Purple. "Augh!" I shouted. "Curse that wretched color! She's poisoned it with heart-hurting hurt-y feelings! It burns worse than contact lenses!" Gir slid down one of the transportation tubes suddenly, screaming at the top of his electric lungs.

"Master, that's just lovesickyness! I saw all about it on T.V.!" He approached me a lightning speed and hugged my leg.

"Hugs make all the heart-hurtsing goes away! But Master better hurry! The first bell at schoooool is gonna ring!"

"Blasphemy!" I shouted. "The almighty Zim is _never _late!"

"Zim," Computer's droning voice startled me. "The bell rings in two minutes." Two? I had to get out of here! I rushed to the Voot Cruiser and disguised it as one of Gir's rubber piggies, then shot through the attic window and rushed towards the school.

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><p>Oh and psst...in case you were wondering, the chapters aren't going to stay this short. Even as we speak (errm, type), they are increasing in length.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

...And here's chapter 4!

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><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

I started tapping my foot, noticing the time on my communicator, which also functioned as a watch. Gaz had been taking longer getting up lately. I didn't know if she was doing more elaborate make-up (although that would be useless since her bangs hang in her face), or she was sleeping longer.

"I've been sleeping badly, _Dib_! Stop talking to yourself, your voice makes me sick." Gaz trumped down the stairs in her big, stomp-y boots, terrifying as always. I peered at her face, trying to see if there was any extra-fancy make-up. She slapped me.

"Stop staring and let's go already! We're gonna be late if your stupid self holds us up any longer!" She threw the front door open and started down the driveway, heading for school. I rubbed my cheek and followed her. I guess she was acting normal…for her. I wondered why she was sleeping badly. I wondered if it was my fault. I wondered if it was something to do with Zim. The two had been acting weird around each other lately. I understood why Zim was being weird…er, but I had no idea how Gaz could know about it.

"Gaz," I started tentatively, "Has Zim been bothering you?" She grunted quietly.

"You…could say that."

"What's he been doing?" She turned to me and opened one vicious eye.

"I don't really want to talk about it, Dib." I looked up and noticed we were almost to the front doors of the Hi-Skool. I had to find out what was wrong now so I could talk to Zim about it in first period.

"C'mon, Gaz, just tell me." She whirled on me, a bit ominously considering she was several steps higher than I was.

"I don't want to talk about it, _Dib_!" She turned and stormed through the doors before I could react. The surrounding students eyed me curiously, and someone in the crowd shouted, "Dib's being mean to girls now!" I would just have to tell Zim about this interesting development anyway, and see if he knew anything I didn't. Maybe he told her and…

No, Zim was way too cowardly…or was he?

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><p>And that's all for now! Remember, a review=a new chapter! Unless of course this takes off and there's like, 10 reviews... Then it's just a new chapter as they come.<p>

Lotsa Irken love!

~Provehito Excelsior~


	5. Chapter 5

As promised, another review, another chapter. I promise, around chapter 7 the length starts taking off. Always start small. The worst mistake is over-doing something right out of the gate.

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><p><span>Chapter 5<span>

Why did Dib have to be so annoying? What gave him the right, his paranormal-sized head? I scoffed aloud to myself: hardly. He just thought he could squeeze my thoughts out of me because he was my older brother. Well, I'd make him pay later. I bumped into someone who was wearing red and looked up.

"Hello, little Gaz-human. How are you today?" Zim smiled that bizarre, infectious smile of his. I wanted to smile up at him, but my insides hurt too much. I glared at him instead, then stomped on his foot and bolted past him.

"Holy chili beans, Gaz! Zim just bade you welcome!"

I left him behind, howling his pain and indignation. I hated him. I hated him because he wouldn't let me get close to him. He wouldn't let me tell him how I wanted him to take me away in the Voot. I wanted him to take me as far from stupid earth as possible. I was tired of dooming people who just wouldn't take a hint or learn a lesson.

I ran to my locker and stared into the mirror hanging at the back. I saw the fury in my eyes and smiled; hopefully, no one would bother me today. The first bell rang and I hurried to class. Stupid biology. I slumped into my desk at the back of class held the ends of a pencil between my index fingers. I glared through my bangs at the front of the room, waiting for the teacher (who was _always_ late) to come.

"Hey, Gaz!"

No. Just no. Not today.

"Feeling quiet, I see? That's ok, I have an _awesome_ gaming story for you, anyway! It's all about the old-style Vampire Piggy Hunter, the one that's like, impossible to beat! You'll be so impressed you might actually revere me as you should." Iggins gloated down at me, his intense eyes shining with excitement. I smiled inwardly, knowing that I was about to rip that excitement from his brain like I ripped his top gamer title away in fourth grade. That's all I would be ripping, as long as he didn't try one of his…extra…spiels.

"…So I finally beat the last boss after like, seven years! I can't believe the secret was staying up all night on Energy Poop Cola! Which reminds me…can I take you out for a drink after school? I got my mom's minivan today." He jingled the garish orange keys in front of me, as if that could entice me. I felt my rage build up inside of me, exacerbated when I looked at his stupid green hair and his stupid red shirt.

"Iggins, if you know what's good for you, you will turn around and sit in the front desk like the teacher's pet you are. I'm really too tired to doom you today." He leaned in and winked at me.

"Thinking about my gaming ability keeping you awake all night?"

I ripped the desk off its legs and stood, grabbing his shirt in one hand, the desk top in the other.

"Iggins, I said _no, _got it? Now _go away._" He gulped, nodded, and slinked off to the front of the class. I dusted my hands and applied superglue to the bottom of the desk, carefully setting its legs back in place.

Problem solved.


	6. Chapter 6

So, it seems I am succeeding in staying IC! Yay! *clapclap* I'm glad you all are enjoying this story. What makes you happy makes me happy! Two chapters for you today!

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><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

"What do you mean, 'Have I been bothering the Gaz-human'?"

"C'mon, Zim," the Dib-stink poked my shoulder. "She said it, and Gaz doesn't lie about being irritated. You must have done something." I thought about it. I wondered if running out on her every time she got too close for my squeedilyspooch to resist was making her angry. Or worse, what if she had realized I had affections for her pig-loving self?

"Zim, I see you sweating."

"Wha-? Oh, no! Of course I've done nothing much. Maybe it was simply because I didn't respond to her text about the Mysterious Mysteries brain-filth!"

Dib narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "Then why are you sweating?"

"Because…ah! Because of the _test,_ yes, the pitiful human test I have in fifth period today…. Oh, how I will crush the humans with my mighty Irken intellect!" I chuckled nervously and pulled at my collar, hoping the Dib-stink wouldn't notice.

"Isn't your fifth class like, Culinary or something? Do you have tests?"

"We _do _study nutrition textbooks, _Dib_. Watching those human 'intelligence-building' programs is getting to your small, human knowledge." I smirked at him.

"_Mysterious Mysteries_ is _very_ informational! You even admitted it last Friday!"

"Dib!" The human teaching-slave slithered in and growled. "Get to your seat! You've been talking for ten minutes of my class."

Dib hung his head in defeat and sat, then turned around and gave me the "I'm-watching-you" signal. I sighed and slid down in my seat.

Little Gaz was mad at me.


	7. Chapter 7

The moment you've all been waiting for... From here on out, the chapters are longer, crazier, and _much_ more random. I hope you all enjoy.*crosses fingers*

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><p><span>Chapter 7<span>

My stomach growled just as I sat on the bench. I quickly pulled out my sandwich and began tearing chunks off it, hopefully vicious-looking enough to discourage the surrounding students from trying to sit next to me. I waited for Dib and Zim to finish buying lunch (idiots) and sit down. I heard Zim from the lunch line.

"What do you mean you stopped serving _mashed potatoes_? They were the best part of my normal, human, pig-smelly day!"

"Sorry, we had to stop serving them after last Wednesday's incident."

"That is a _ridiculous_ reason! Just because one _pitiful human_ coughs up a lung—!"

"You're holding up the line, please keep moving."

"…Pitiful _human!_"

A short while later, Zim and Dib sat down across from me. Dib was blithering on about the latest Bigfoot sighting (the only paranormal activity I have no respect for) and Zim was pouting, poking at the creamed corn which replaced his mashed potatoes with a spork. I peered at him curiously.

"Why _were_ the mashed potatoes so important, Zim?" He looked up from his sulking.

"Eh? Oh…simply because they are the best human food at hiding my..." he leaned across the table and whispered, "…Irken snacks." He held up a finger as if to tell me to keep watching, then pulled a small purple and pink package from his pocket. He dumped the creamed corn into his chocolate milk container (no one drank that stuff anyway), and then ripped open his package and poured it into the creamed corn container.

A mysterious lumpy _something_ filled the container. He pulled a flat plastic stick from his other pocket, and then dipped it into the strange food. When he scooped up a small amount of the mush, it turned iridescent. He shoved it into his mouth and sighed with pleasure. Dib looked at him in disgust.

"You're lucky we sit here, or else everyone would see that stuff."

"Zim needs no human!" Zim's tongue was purple. I leaned across the table, my sandwich forgotten, and grabbed his alien utensil. His head shot towards me.

"No, little Gaz! You might not like the taste-!" He was too late. I placed the stick in my mouth and licked off the now-iridescent mush. I rolled it around in my mouth for a bit, waiting for flavor. I smacked my lips and clicked my tongue. Wow. What a boring food. Wait…was that….

Violet?

Zim's food tasted like violets!

I opened one of my eyes and looked at him. He was cowering in terror, probably expecting to have set off some of my wrath. I handed him back his stick. He took it and looked at me questioningly.

"Gaz…likes it?"

I shrugged, "It's okay. I can't believe I never asked to try it before. Violet is an interesting taste. It makes me think I'm eating my hair, ha." I smiled at him, as best as I could. He smiled faintly back. That smile was so friendly, I was encouraged.

"Maybe…I can come over later and try your other stuff…?" His eye suddenly twitched and he began shouting.

"Invaders need no one! INVADERS NEED NO ONE!" I flinched away. Dib rolled his eyes, obviously much more used to Zim's outbursts than I was.

"I thought you weren't an 'Invader' anymore, idiot." He stared half-lidded at Zim, who was paused mid-shout, arms raised above his head. He put his arms down and coughed into one of his fists, a light emerald hinting at his blush.

"Yes, well…old habits die hard." He chuckled.

Old habits my foot. That stupid alien just doesn't like me! Jerk, what did I ever do to him? Well…a lot, but that was when we were kids, way back when people still thought it was "cute" for a little girl to try beating up other people. I grew out of that habit in junior high, so why would he still hold a grudge? Invaders need no one, eh? Well I know of a certain computer who seems to need people, and I'll prove to Zim that other people could want me.

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><p>Oooooooh Zim's in for a surprise! What could Gaz possibly have up her sleeve? Guess you'll all have to wait to find out!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

I've gotten a couple reviews, and frankly, I'm _dying _to post this whole thing, so here's a new chapter.

To Miss Yaya: Thank you for being such a wonderful encouragement, your reviews fill me with squees of happiness.

To BioReck: You requested Tak, and while I can't say she'll be appearing shortly, I _can_ say she will be appearing very, very soon.

Chaos fast approaching in Chapter 11 ;) Till then, Invader Love3

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><p><span>Chapter 8<span>

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I thought you weren't an Invader anymore?"

He chuckled, "Yes, well…old habits die hard." I looked at him, condescendingly, and then shoveled creamed corn into my mouth. Suddenly, Gaz crumpled her lunch bag (a bit more fiercely than usual), and stood.

"Where are you going?" Zim and I asked in unison. She narrowed her gold-brown eyes at us in a chilling glare.

"I have to be somewhere. Don't wait for me after school." She turned on her heel, throwing the brown paper ball in her hand at an unsuspecting chess geek who got too close. She stomped across the lunchroom and disappeared through the swing doors. As soon as I knew she was gone, I let my walls fall down. It was tough sitting by two people when you know one is desperately in love with the other.

"Zim is not 'desperate'! He eats no Irken flesh!" I looked at him and shook my head. Darn, I had to stop talking to myself.

"That's 'cannibal', Zim. I don't even know how you can confuse those two words. Anyway, that's beside the point. How do you _ever _expect my sister to like you when you pretty much push her away every time she talks to you? She probably thinks you hate her by now!" Zim paled.

"The Gaz-monkey thinks…I hate her?" He gulped. I slapped my forehead.

"What, did you think you were making a good impression? You just told her you didn't want her around!" He may be my best friend, but he was a real moron sometimes.

"Zim was just…being himself…." He looked at his gloved hands, now folded in his lap. His false blue eyes grew shiny with welling tears. I sighed.

"Oh, come on…don't do that…."

"ZIM JUST DID WHAT THE SOAP OPERAS SAID!" I looked around at the student body that occupied the cafeteria, startled out of the doldrums that was their everyday life. Their eyes, normally blank, studied us with growing fear. I held my hands up to them.

"It's okay; he just got rejected from a fancy college is all." I smiled half-heartedly until they went back to their bovine-like chewing, then turned and slugged the bizarre alien in his shoulder.

"I'm just starting to get my reputation back, you idiot! You can't keep yelling like that!" I hissed at him. He rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and nodded, turning to finish his lunch. I went back to mine and we ate in silence. When the bell rang, he stood and began to walk in the opposite direction of his class.

"Oh, so you're leaving too?" I yelled after him, irritated at being left alone.

"Sorry Dib, don't really feel like that test…." He turned and continued walking towards the office to sign out.

"What if _I_ wanna talk about _Tak_?" I yelled, but I didn't think he could hear me. Or maybe he just pretended not to….

A student walked by and scoffed; "Now you're _yelling_ to yourself, Dib? You're such a weirdo." I sighed and headed to study hall.


	9. Chapter 9

Ta-da! Here's the daily (so far) update! No more freebies after this, I'm starting to get caught up in my stash of pre-written chapters... Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and have a lovely day!

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><p><span>Chapter 9<span>

I walked home, kicking squirrels and aluminum cans along the way.

"Stupid, _stupid_ me! The Gaz-beast thinks I hate her? Why? WHY? Pitiful _human_!" I gritted my teeth and flailed my fists, filled with a mighty Irken rage. Then, I stopped. My delicious spirit broke, and I realized how wrong I was.

"I…the almighty Zim…have made a," I shuddered, "_mistake_." I reached up under my wig and scratched my antennae. I have been a fool, but I would never, _ever _admit that little detail out loud! I had to fix it! I had to clean up this slimy mess!

"ZIM WILL FIX YOUUUUUUUUUU!" I held my hand aloft in a pointed gesture and ran towards my house as fast as possible. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a human stink-beast walk away uneasily.

I ran to my door and threw it open, ready to rush to the lab and ask Computer to help me find a way to win the Dib-sibling's heart. However, the sight that met my fantastic eyes stopped me in my tracks. Nothing, on Irk or Earth or any other planet, could have prepared me for the sight before me.

The desired-one of my squeedilyspooch…was….

She was….

In the robotic arms of COMPUTER? Playing her entertainment machine? HOW COULD IT BE? I stood, my jaw open, legs apart, on my front step. Gir brushed past my leg, handed the Gaz-human a chocolate Suck-Monkey, and headed into the kitchen. Suddenly, _she_ looked up, opened her eyes and stared at me.

"Hi, _Zim._" Her voice was venomous, and hurt my heart in worse heart hurtyness than ever before. I stepped into the house—not even blinking—still shocked at the scene before me. She glared at me, purple fury shooting out from her eyes. I shuddered.

"What?" She continued glaring. "Did you think that I wouldn't eventually take Computer up on his offer?" I gulped.

"What…what offer?" She scoffed and rolled her delightful, tawny eyes.

"He asked me out. I originally turned him down, but electronics have always had a…soft spot in my heart." She smiled evilly, looking down as she gently stroked the large arm that held her in a metal hammock. My belly churned, and I gulped again. She looked up at me through her lashes and smirked. She was such a cruel human worm-baby….

"Why would Computer ask you out?" I mentally slapped myself. It had been more of a question to Computer, that backstabbing demon of wires and Irken technology, but it came out all _horribly wrong_! I shoved my hand in my mouth to practice what the humans call "holding your tongue". Her eyes flared again and she jumped down, turning off her gaming machine.

"What is _that _supposed to mean, you insufferable moron? Am I so repulsive to you that you would think _nothing_, not even a _computer_, could want me? Well, that's exactly what I wanted to prove to you, stupid!" As she talked she moved towards Computer's docking wire. I plugged various electronics into it when I needed Computer in a mobile format. She plugged her Game Slave into the docking wire.

"You just don't care, do you Zim?" I tore my eyes away from what she was doing and looked at her. She was squinting again, with one eye barely open. She unplugged her Game Slave harshly, almost ripping the docking wire out of the wall. She marched past me to the door and turned.

"I _am_ worth something to _other_ people. Too bad I'm not worth anything to you." She stomped away, chunks of sidewalk sticking to the spiked soles of her boots.

"…"

"…."

"…I AM AN IDIOT!" I balled my hands and fell to my knees in the doorway. I had just ruined…no, _Computer_ ruined all my chances. I whirled around and pointed with an accusing finger.

"You! You traitor! If we still belonged to Irk, I would send you to the Tallest and have them break each individual wire down and sell you to planet Dirt for _cleaning equipment_!" I shrieked. "How could you go behind my almighty Pak and _do_ such a thing?" I stared up at the little blue light high up in the ceiling. Eventually, the large robotic arms relaxed from their hammock-y position and shrugged.

"Gee, Zim, I don't know…. I guess since you never made a move... I thought she was fair game." How I now _hated_ that droning voice! I resisted the urge to attack the base and dismantle Computer bit by bit and focused on calming myself.

"Hasn't Gir showed you any human-filth soap operas? You're supposed to be my…my…wingman, or something." I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him. Computer retracted the arms and opened one of the many lab entrances instead.

"I'm sorry Zim…how do you want me to fix this?"

A thought came into my head as I stepped into the elevator; a delicious, fresh-baked demon-cookie sort of thought. I removed my disguised and began laughing, taking in my _fantastic_ reflection in the glass, filled with evil…. Oh, how Computer would pay. OH HOW I WOULD GET REVENGE!


	10. Chapter 10

That last chapter was pretty interesting, huh? Well, you haven't seen anything yet. Tomorrow, you will get a tasty Gaz-fit of doom. Oh yes, there shall be many explosions.

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><p><span>Chapter 10<span>

I ran out of the doors before Torque could throw something _else_ at me. I had been in a foul mood since the only two people who liked me (or rather, _tolerated_ me) had bailed. They totally left me! How could Zim do such a thing? He knows I need his help in P.E…. Oh, well…I guess I can't really blame him. He _did _screw up pretty bad with Gaz. That stupid Irken always manages to over-react though…no telling what he's done by now….

I vaulted up the front steps and had just made it to the bottom of the stairs when I heard voices coming from Gaz's room. At first I thought she was playing a videogame, until I noticed one of the voices was hers. I creeped up the stairs and inched towards her door, careful not to alert the flesh-eating dolls—or worse, Gaz—to my presence. I pressed an ear to the door.

"Thank you for agreeing to be downloaded, Computer. It will be nice to have someone else to talk to around here. I mean, talking to Dib is…ugh, _okay_…but I'd much rather talk to something inhuman." Computer? As in, _Zim's_ computer? Oh good, they must have made up.

"No problem. I will do whatever you ask, my Mistress."

What? Mistress? Did that mean that Zim and Gaz were now together? I resisted the urge to jump and click my heels.

"Computer…I'm glad we're dating." My jaw dropped open, and before I could clap a hand over my mouth, I responded.

"WHAT?" My hand closed over my mouth, and my eyes widened in terror. A sharp metal leg protruded beneath the door frame. The lights in Gaz's room turned red. The voices were silent. The air seemed to be sucked from the entire house, and all other lights dimmed. I began sweating, my hands growing clammy. I was…I was _doomed._

Gaz suddenly opened her door, her eyes gleefully sadistic.

"You sure are, _Dib_." She grabbed my collar and pulled me in.

~some time later~

I awoke, feeling bleary eyed. It was dark. I must have fallen asleep in my bed after… wait. Oh, no!

"Hi, idiot." A red light illuminated the room, and exposed a very, _very_ intimidating Gaz. She grabbed my hair.

"Can I ask you one teeny, tiny question?" She asked sweetly. I gulped and nodded.

"…What the HECK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING EAVESDROPPING ON MY CONVERSATION?" She knocked the chair I was strapped to over and got one of her dolls (the one with saw-blade hands) and held it over me. She glared down at me, her eyes wide and looking fiery with rage.

"I'll rage _you, _you moron! Answer my question!" She sawed through the middle of the chair seat, right between my legs. I yelped.

"I'm sorry! I thought Zim was here!" She pulled the blade back and put her head down so I couldn't see her eyes. At first, I thought she was crying. Then I realized that would be weird: Gaz didn't cry. She slowly raised her head, her voice moving from a whisper to a shout.

"Don't. _Ever. _SAY HIS NAME AGAIN!" She revved the saw at me. I flinched and began wailing, then stopped.

"Wait. I understand you being angry, but what's the cause for this dooming mood?"

"I'M NOT TELLING YOU!" She sawed down the center of the chair more.

"OKAY! Okay…. Just…let me go and I won't breathe a word of this." The saw blade shot towards my face. I begged God for forgiveness, knowing this was the end.

"It's not the end _yet_, stupid. Now go by me a pizza. I'm going to work on my piggy mural." I opened my eyes. The lights were back to normal, and my restraints had been cut. I touched my chest, checking to see if I had been cut anywhere. I hadn't. I jumped and squealed to myself. I was alive!

"GO BUY ME A PIZZA!" I jumped and ran to Bloaty's Pizza Hog like I had never run before. Little did I know, a different type of dooming was going on across town.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay, here it is. Are you ready for the best doom-fit of all time? Many of you will want to do this to _your_ schools after reading...but, please don't lol Anyway, here's todays post and I hope you enjoy.

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><p><span>Chapter 11<span>

The weekend passed uneventfully.

Stupid world.

I hid in my room the whole time. I stayed up until one and slept till noon. I lived off of the Bloaty's pizza Dib bought me. I trained him well; it was an extra-large. Occasionally, Dib would come to my door and ask if I wanted to hang out and watch _Mysterious Mysteries_ with him. My flesh-eating dolls chased him away. Computer drew portraits of me on my Game Slave screen. Sunday evening came far too fast. I soaked in the bath, Computer facing the wall. We had been talking for a while, but an awkward silence filled the room. Computer finally broke it.

"Is something wrong, Gaz?" I sighed, not really knowing how to respond. How could I tell him that, in an attempt to get revenge on someone for not liking me the way I liked them, I had used him? How could I break his…hard-drive like that? I knew he was waiting for a response, but I didn't have one to give. My stupid feelings were too complicated. I hated them!

"Gaz, you _do_ realize that Dib is not the only one who talks to himself in this family, right?" I jumped, staring at the Game Slave in horror.

"How much did you hear?"

"Just that last bit. Why, are you hiding something?" I bit my lower lip and grunted. I had to be the weirdest girl in the city. I couldn't even have a good relationship with artificial intelligence. I decided to lie, since I couldn't come up with the truth.

"No, I'm not hiding anything. You just startled me. …Do I really talk to myself?" Computer chuckled.

"Not as often as Dib, but occasionally, usually when you're calculating someone's doom, you let certain details slip." I stood and wrapped myself in a towel, forcing myself to chuckle along with Computer. I realized I was doing this for good cause: to get back at that stupid, selfish Zim.

If only I didn't have a conscience.

Monday started off weird. In the middle of first period, I got a text from Dib.

_Zim isn't here today, and I haven't gotten a response out of him. Have you heard anything from him?_

I contemplated telling Dib to go die in a hole where his big head would stop being a menace for mentioning Zim's name, but then I actually read what he had to say. Zim wasn't at school? As far as I was aware, Zim hadn't missed a day of school since he first landed on Earth. Except for the one time when he entered Dib's system in a Nano-ship, but that was different. Zim didn't plan world conquest anymore, and he didn't get sick (he made sure to test the _War of the Worlds_ theory as soon as Gir rented it), so why would he miss school? Unfortunately, before I could ponder any more, the voice in the back of my head reminded me that Zim was a dirty Irken jerk and I shouldn't care anyway. I responded to Dib with my original idea and continued my day as normal.

Normal until lunch, that is.

When I opened my Game Slave, it wasn't on. I thought I had forgotten to turn it on that morning, so I pressed the power button. The screen turned on and Computer's voice said, "Welcome to Your Game Slave 5." I sighed with relief.

"Oh, thank God, Computer. I thought the battery was dead for a second. Don't scare me like that."

"Unfamiliar voice pattern detected. Please input password." My jaw dropped.

"Computer, stop kidding around. Do you want to spend lunch with me or not?"

"Input password." I frowned, typing in the system review code. A blank screen scrolled to the latest system changes. I peered at it carefully, looking from the top of the screen to the bottom. Then, I saw it.

_System reprogrammed from remote service._

Reprogrammed.

Zim.

I shrieked with rage. The entire lunchroom turned to face me. I picked up my sandwich and lobbed it at the nearest student, causing all of the faceless mass to turn away again. Dib dropped out of the lunch line and ran to me.

"Gaz! What happened, what's wrong?" I continued screaming, pounding my fists on the table. I faced him.

"YOUR STUPID, ALIEN-JERK OF A FRIEND! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" I grabbed a garbage can and slammed it over him, then kicked it as hard as I could out the cafeteria doors. I saw his legs kicking, alluding to his struggle. I turned and spilled chocolate milk in a line along another garbage can, then picked up one of the potheads, shaking him upside down till a lighter fell out of his pocket. I lit the chocolate milk and ran outside, rolling the can-o-Dib down the sidewalk.

I glanced behind me to see the cafeteria burst into flames behind me; the students ran in terror. Too bad Iggins didn't have the same lunch. I kept running, ignoring the sickened noises coming from Dib as I rolled him down street after street. Eventually, I reached the turn for Zim's street. I paused for breath and tipped the garbage can up so Dib fell out. His fell on his butt and wobbled before lying down on the sidewalk.

"Never do that again," he said dreamily. I glared at him, and pulled a can of deodorizing spray from my bag. I sprayed him down with it and he began to cough.

"Oh—cough—Gaz! Stop! Why are you doing that?"

"Because you stink. Now get up. We have to pay Zim a little visit for ruining my life." Dib eyed me strangely. He stroked his chin.

"Tak isn't controlling you from a remote mind probe, is she?"

"COME ON, YOU IDIOT!"

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><p>And since we've reached the ten chapter marker (hooray!), I will throw in a disclaimer for safety's sake.<p>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or anything regarding it. I only own this story's plot. **


	12. Chapter 12

Psst...those of you who have been wanting some Gir, this chapter is for you. Tomorrow we get some Tak and Skoodge! Have a nice day!

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><p><span>Chapter 12<span>

Gaz grabbed my collar, kicked Zim's front door in and stepped inside. I heard her breathing heavy with rage, and I could only sympathize with Zim, knowing the wrath he would soon be facing. She threw me down, shouted into the recesses of his base.

"Show yourself, Zim! I _know _you reprogrammed Computer to forget about me! Now step out and meet your doom!" Her voice echoed in the dark house. I peered around. Was Zim's house normally dark? Even when Gir was home alone, the lights _always_ remained on. A spark of blue coming from the closet in the corner caught my eye. I stood and dusted myself off, heading towards the door. I grasped the handle and cautiously opened the door. I jumped back with a yelp at the sight.

The robo-parents were completely dismantled; I could tell it had been done recently and in a hasty manner because they were still twitching, emitting a spark every now and again. I smiled, thanking the powers that be that I had read my Paranormal Scene Investigator handbook. It was a good thing I was part of the Swollen Eyeballs.

"What about your stupid association?" Gaz approached from behind and opened one eye to stare at the damage that was hidden in the closet. She grunted and closed her eye, turning to inspect the rest of the house. I followed her, and we headed towards the lab. As we rode down in the elevator, a thought struck me.

"Is it me or is it oddly quiet?"

"Yeah, that little freak Gir hasn't made a sound since we got here…. Isn't he normally watching T.V. or shouting about food?" I nodded. She shrugged. The elevator doors opened and we stepped out. The labs were a shambles; wires stuck out everywhere, screens were smashed and buttons had been individually ripped from the control panels and strewn about like futuristic confetti. A single light illuminated a tiny metallic figure that had been duct-taped to the outside of a transportation tube.

"It's Gir!" I ran towards him. Gaz followed at a slower pace.

"I know that you idiot," she said under her breath. We approached the little robot, expecting him to raise his head and shout something about tacos in greeting. He didn't. I inspected him closer. A couple wraps of duct tape covered his mouth, and his eyes were dark: a soulless black.

"Of _course_ he's soulless, he's a robot." Gaz looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Can you find something to cut him loose? Maybe we can turn him on and get him to tell us where that idiot Zim is, so I can doom him to another dimension." I reached into my jacket and pulled out a pocket knife. I sliced through the duct tape and pulled the robot free. I searched for a power button, but looked at Gaz, helpless. She sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes again, taking the lifeless Gir from me. She opened his chest and took out two wires, holding them together until they sparked. She took some of the used duct tape and wrapped it around the makeshift connection, then closed up his chest again.

I waited with baited breath until a small flicker of turquoise appeared in his eyes. I bit my lip and balled my fists. I resisted the urge to scream "Come on, little buddy!" Suddenly, something cold and metallic tackled me, gripped my face and blinded me with cyan light.

"Your head smells like a puppy!" I heard Gaz try to hide a chuckle with a growl. I lifted the tiny, insane, and oh-so-adorable robot off of my face, then set him on the ground and sat up. He turned around and stood on his head, giggling quietly.

"Hi Gir. We have some questions." Gir stopped giggling and jumped up. He leaned close to me and whispered. I listened intently.

"…The squirrel is my _friend_." He proceeded to jump onto the control panel and dance, occasionally beat-boxing to keep the beat. Gaz looked at me desperately, as if to say, "Please get some answers out of him."  
>"I <em>did<em> say that, stupid!" She glared at me and raised a fist in warning. I gulped and ran to Gir, desperate to get him to talk.

"Gir, do you know where Zim is?" The little robot stopped dancing and stared at me for a second, then immediately burst into tears. He began wailing.

"My Master got all scary when he came down after he argued with Gazzy!" I looked at Gaz suspiciously. She shrugged. Gir continued, "He yelled at Computer and then started laughing. I like when my Master laughs, but this time he made me feel like all the tacos in the world were gone! I like food…I do!" He beat his head with his tiny silver fists and continued wailing. I briefly wondered where his tears came from, but snapped to attention.

"Then what happened? Try to remember, Gir!" He ran to the biggest pile of buttons, searching. I watched him, thinking we had gotten all the information we were going to get. Suddenly, he pulled a blue triangle from the pile, ran back to the control panel, and smashed it into a slot. The cracked control screen flickered on, and the inside of the Voot Cruiser appeared. Zim was in the background, listening to what I assumed was Irk's version of classical music, sipping soda. Gaz's eyes flickered open, filled with a purple fury.

"Where are you Zim?" She shouted at the screen. Zim spluttered and spat his soda across the room, then looked at the screen. He leaned in.

"HOW DID YOU FIND ME?" Gaz groaned.

"We didn't, you _horrible idiot_! Your stupid robot just found the button to turn on the control screen. Zim's antennae twitched, then he leaned back in his seat and laughed.

"Ha-ha! I knew that, foolish _human_! Of course you didn't find me. If the mighty Irken Zim doesn't want to be found, he won't be!" I looked up at him.

"Then why were you always found first at hide-and-seek in elementary?"

"YOU'RE LYING!" He pointed a gloved finger at me and hissed. "ZIM IS HIDING ON PLANET FLOIST; YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY FIND HI—!"

"Ha!" Gaz's laugh coughed out in triumph. Zim's antennae wilted. Gaz returned to frowning, "Why did you leave Earth?" Zim's usual arrogant smirk returned.

"Glad you asked, Dib-sibling. You see, I couldn't stand seeing you take my computer. He's vital to my survival and frankly, I'm just selfish like that. NO ONE SHALL HAVE ZIM'S BELONGINGS!" He blew a raspberry at her. "So, to get back at your pitiful human existence for stealing him, I reprogrammed him!" He laughed maniacally, as if this were all a plan to conquer Earth. Gaz rolled her eyes and growled.

"I know you reprogrammed him, you idiot! What does that have to do with you leaving Earth?" I caught a glimpse of Gir dancing behind her. Zim chuckled evilly.

"I knew that as soon as you discovered my _perfect_ revenge, you would be out to get Zim's hide. Zim shall be bested by no human! So, I leave you, Membrane stink-children, to remember on the days that you were friends with the MIGHTY IRKEN ZIM! …Now stop calling me." He cut the transmission. I stared a Gaz, beginning to sweat. Her head was bowed.

"G-Gaz?" Her voice rose slowly.

"Zim may not be bested by any human, but I'm Gaz…and I'm not just _any human_. We're going after him, and we're going to DOOM HIM TO A WORLD OF ETERNAL PAIN AND VAMPIRE PIGGIES!" I began trembling as she shrieked with rage. Gir yelled in the background.

"Yay, pain!"


	13. Chapter 13

Tak time! Yaaaaay! Just to let you know, I've written Tak as very cold and calculating, so if she comes across as very serious for this story, that's why. Without further ado, Chapter 13!

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><p><span>Chapter 13<span>

I had been waiting for weeks, undetected in the next school district. _They_ turned out to be even _bigger_ morons than the last one. The very first day, when someone asked me if I was a midget while I was writing my answers on the chalkboard (foolish human, I _am_ five human feet), I squeezed the chalk in my hand till it disintegrated. More than once, I decided to have Mimi "take care" of some of the more idiotic ones. She took them back to the lab for testing. This had yielded _marvelous_ results; it aided me in catching up on what I had missed during my…forced hiatus.

Finally, after five _more_ years of waiting for the perfect moment, I would have my revenge on Zim. According to the transmissions I had intercepted from the Tallest, he had finally realized the truth of his banishment. Not that _that _would stop him; he had easily quit banishment from Foodcourtia. The Tallest should have found a more…_permanent_…way of disposing of the moron. However, I am glad they didn't: the sweetness of revenge could now be mine.

Maybe I wasn't looking for revenge the first time, but I sure wanted it now.

"Tak!" I glared at the intrusion. It was a student. What could he want? He approached me, smiling with perfect white teeth. Disgusting.

"I was just wondering…I mean…I know our groups don't usually intermingle…" I eyed him condescendingly. I wondered if it hurt to be that stupid.

"I was not aware I was part of any _group._" This was a lie; I knew very well the humans had often placed me in one of their many…dark subcultures. It ranged from emo, to punk, and—most recently—Goth. The human laughed.

"You always have such sarcastic humor; I love it. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime." I raised an eyebrow.

"Go…out?" He smiled hopefully.

"Yeah! I know of this great hotdog stand in the next town—not too far away, just a couple miles—it's called Delishus Weenie." Delishus Weenie! The pencil I had been holding snapped in two. How…how _dare_ this human bring up my past! I was so focused on the future; I never wanted to _remember_ that failure! However, I kept my cool. I had always been good at that. I ripped a blank page out of my notebook and crumpled it into a ball. I threw it into the student's face.

"You're right," I said, walking away. "Our groups _don't_ intermingle."

As I left the human looking rather disheartened, I made a decision.

It was time to find Zim, and exact my revenge. Maybe not tonight, but definitely after the weekend: he was going to pay. I had all weekend to prepare, and then, when Monday came, I would go to his school. I would expose him to the humans in the most embarrassing way possible, and then I would get rid of him, once and for all. Maybe I would leave him on Pluto without a ship—or even Gir—to his name. Suddenly, a thought struck me.

Wasn't there a human boy who always wanted to expose Zim? What was his name? Dim or something? I shuddered; I hated when I had half-memories! What did the humans call it? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Now I _had _to know who the boy was! Unfortunately…that meant unearthing my past. I would have to ask Mimi to unlock the First Attempt files. I decided to stop at the store on my way home. The humans have _one thing _right.

Chocolate helps everything.

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><p>Eeee! Tak is so cool! I can't wait to write her part for Monday (which will be taking place a couple hours after the Chocolate Milk incident). Sorry hers is so short! She's very terse, and gets a lot of things said in very few words.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

And now for something completely different. Yay Skoodge-y goodness! Skoodge has always been one of my favorite characters, but he didn't really have much of a part, so at first it was rather difficult to write for him. However, I have settled to write him in the style of pseudo-drama. On with the show!

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><p><span>Chapter 14<span>

It was all so long ago.

I opened my eyes, finding myself in an enormous pile of…_dookie_.

What had happened to me? I looked around in an attempt to discover some link to the past, but discovered something _far _worse. It was a very large corpse, mixed in with the dookie, and it looked _half digested_! I analyzed this for a moment, then realized that yes; one would _have _to be digested in order to end up in a pile of dookie. Or, you had to be really weird. I stood up, dusted myself off and went to inspect the corpse. It looked familiar: it was a large military-looking man, with one cyborg eye. His dog tags were missing though, so I couldn't be sure of his name. I observed my surroundings.

Wherever I was, I had been there a while. I was standing in the middle of a desert canyon. There were strange species of cacti growing in spurts here or there, and whatever had digested the cyborg man and I seemed to have died doing so: a large animal skeleton (it looked like a hogulus) rested not far from the dookie. I suddenly became very thirsty, so I ran to a nearby cave in the canyon wall. Sure enough, there was a pool of watrak, along with a blue beam of light between two transmitters. I drank watrak until I was sated…my parched throat was soothed. I washed my hands and face (a good Invader is _always _clean!) and then inspected the transmitter beam. I poked it.

Before I could blink or asked what happened, I ended up in a room. It was pure white, and filled with…ugh, _more skeletons_! Suddenly, a groan came from one of the bodies that hadn't decomposed yet. It was a small brown alien with what seemed to be a deflated head. I ran over to him and held his head up. He opened his yellow eyes.

"Ugh, Throbulator has been waiting many years…."

"What have you been waiting for?" I asked. He inhaled shakily.

"Long ago, He-Who-Eats-Sandwiches prophesied that we, the inhabitants of the Holding Pen of Pain, would be saved. We all believed him of course, even Throbulator; he had been an inhabitant for much longer than the rest of us." I looked around, examining the white room.

"Is that where we are, the Holding Pen of Pain?" Throbulator nodded weakly.

"Throbulator doesn't want you to be sad; he knows you aren't the savior."

"Why would I be sad?" Throbulator suddenly began coughing.

"Because of…this." He collapsed, dead. I set his body down and closed his eyes. I stood up, walked to the left of a blue crystal alien corpse, and opened the Exit door.

Yes, it _was _so very long ago. Now, I after hitchhiking with The Resisty and procuring a spare Cruiser from them, I found myself in search of the only person who could help me remember what happened before I was eaten by a hogulus. It was not hard to remember his face, though all other memories between conquering Blorch and waking up in dookie were gone. He was such a picture of leadership; I always wanted to be like him.

Zim.

I had to find him, or I would live forever wondering what the missing part of my life had been like. Had I loved? Had I laughed? Had I truly lived? I needed answers!

So, here I was, sitting in a mobile space tavern, talking with an escaped alien from one of Irk's factory planets. He was telling me of the time when he switched the labels on two boxes. The first box was shipped to one Invader Tenn—the second, to Invader Zim.

"So," I began, my voice carrying even through my popped detective-coat collar. "Did you track the shipping process to this…planet _Earth_?" The alien took a swig of soda and nodded, the large screw in his head moving back and forth in a mesmerizing manner.

"All of my people's women were forced into shipment tracking. My dear Neela tracked all of my shipments, and that was one of them. We had a large inter-galactic map, which recorded all of the shipments." I raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have this map with you?" He nodded.

"Of course; when I escaped, I had to take every piece of evidence that I had existed with me. I even took Neela." He gestured at the tavern's barmaid, another of his kind. She turned and waved happily. I smiled and waved back, then turned back to my conversation.

"How much do you want for the map?" He shrugged, reaching into his loincloth pocket. He pulled out a blue screen and handed it to me.

"You can have it for free," he said around another mouthful of soda. "I've been trying to get rid of it for five years." I nodded. I stood, placing my money for the sodas on the table, then reached to shake his hand.

"It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Kliklak. I will be forever indebted to your cause." He smiled, shook my hand, and I took my leave. As I settle into my Cruisers drive seat, I turned on the map, typing in "Earth". A red trail from my current position to Earth appeared. I locked the coordinates into my ships computer, then sat back, eager to conclude my search for the elusive Zim.

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><p>Man, Skoodge is so cool! ^^ Did you catch what alien he was doing business with? It's the factory worker from the Megadoomer episode! He's pretty funny too. Hope you have a lovely day. Till next time! 3<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

**Wow...this story really got ripped apart in that last review heh, *rubs back of neck nervously*. I have to admit, it stung, but I'm always willing to get advice on how to become a better writer. However, upon further conversation, it's been decided that they mainly just didn't like my style. Anyway, I know there's a lot of readers that do, so on with the show!**

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><p><span>Chapter 15<span>

I gripped my stomach, wincing at the pain. I was almost _positive_ that a hideous ulcer was forming in my fantastic Irken belly! I leaned back in my chair and sighed. This…was not what I had imagined when I first fell for the Gaz-human. I tilted my head to stare into the vastness of space. That had been so few years ago…and now, it came to this? I shook my head, serves me right for falling in love with a pitiful earth-monkey. I closed my tired eyes and let the memories take me.

I had hacked into the Tallest's transmission signal—thereby gaining entry to their computer files—and discovered that my name had never been removed from the Foodcourtia employment list. Curious, I had delved deeper into the mystery until I came upon the video of the day when I had been assigned to the miserable rock of Earth. After reviewing it and analyzing it with the new wisdom I had gained from five years of suffering rejection at the hands of the earth-monkeys, I had realized one very important detail.

"The Assigning is _over_, Zim." I remember scratching my antennae; if the Great Assigning had been over when I arrived, how had I been assigned a planet? I kept watching the video. Then, it came to me.

The Tallest had just been trying to get rid of me. I, the almighty Zim, had been nothing but a nuisance; a horrible blight on the shining planet that was Irk…a foolish, _short_ idiot. My dreams and spirits had been crushed, and I was a shell of the Irken I had once been.

For a while.

After I had risen to the occasion of being lied to, I set out for a subtle, but possibly _fatal_ revenge and simply handed the blueprints of the Massive to the Dib. I remember the shocked look on his _pathetic_ face as he asked me why I was trading in my own (monstrous) people. I had simply shrugged and returned to the base. Shortly after, the Dib-stink began being nicer to me. Soon, he even began to defend the amazing Zim against some of the bullies at the Middle Skool. After I questioned him on his actions, he shrugged and invited me to his house. It was the start of a _wonderful _ alliance, and I was quite proud of myself for making the decisions I had. I'm genius!

Then, it happened.

It was several weeks after my _friendship_ with the big-headed Dib-monster had begun; I was sitting on his couch thing with an _enormous_ bowl of popped corn-filth watching the supposed _Mysterious Mysteries._ The foolish earth-monkeys were speaking about some larger, hairier-looking human. In the middle of the program, one of the humans said that the hairy-beast-human didn't exist. The big-headed annoying Dib-stink leapt up in indignation, spilling a glass of water all over my incredible lap! As I screamed in horrible pain while writhing on the carpet, I remember the Dib-beast laughing, and then suddenly, someone came to my aid. A towel was pressed against my belly, and human hair _wind-dryer _began running over my pants. When the pain had ceased enough for me to open my eyes, I looked at my savior.

It was the Dib-sibling. It was little Gaz.

I looked at her curiously, knowing her as one who would quickly bring pain on anybody, for the mere sake of entertainment (ah, how she reminded me of Irkens sometimes!). Yet, here she was…_helping _me.

"Why do you help Zim?" I had asked. She had looked at me, half-opening her Vort-honey eyes, and smiled very, _very _faintly.

"It bothers Dib." That was it. I was smitten. Of course, the entire school had enjoyed bothering Dib, but none had defended me, the almighty Zim in the hopes of doing so! Also, few had the humor-senses of an Irken. I had immediately fallen for the younger human worm-baby. I don't remember why I hadn't ever told her. Maybe it was because I feared future failure…maybe it was because I wasn't sure it was for the best. Whatever the reason, I had made a mistake in not conquering her the minute it came to mind. Now, I had destroyed whatever friendship we had built…and lost Computer's recent memories in the process. Ugh, I _hate _humans sometimes! The hideous pain!

My self-pity reverie was interrupted by a very loud _beeoop, beeoop_ sound. I opened my eyes and studied the ship's navigation pad.

"Computer," I snapped, "where are we?" The bored voice I was starting to forgive spoke up.

"We are now entering Meekrobian territory. State your destination." I felt my attractive evil grin curl across my face. Excellent. Right where I wanted to be. I put on my human disguise, knowing full-well that it would be perfect for where I was heading.

"Sir? Your destination?" I began to laugh evilly to myself. My _ingenious _plan had succeeded!

"Computer, set a course for planet Floist."

"Yes, Sir."

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><p>An Irken Voot Cruiser landed on the harsh, red, desert landscape of Floist. In the midst of the settling dust, it disguised itself as one of the many black boulders that littered the outskirts of Veruleia City. As the hologram flickered, a six foot Irken wearing a disguise that rendered him indifferent from the Meekrobian nobility stepped out and stared across the sands.<p>

_Destiny is mine to create_, he thought to himself.

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><p><strong>So there it is. Sorry about the sudden layout change...I discovered that one cannot make fancy borders within the publisher. Anyway, on to chapter 16!<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Oh, I feel I should tell you. In certain chapters, I have to just type up filler-bits for the sake of coherency. I can't just jump from one bit to the next, so they may come out a bit shorter than they have been. The action will resume ASAP, though! I promise!**

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><p><span>Chapter 16<span>

Dib did a good job of not complaining on the way home. Gir could be quite a handful, but Dib somehow always managed to handle him just fine. It could also have been that we gave him a Suck-Monkey to occupy himself with. I marched with intent, and the walk had been silent until we were almost home. I was enjoying the peace and quiet after a long day of dooming people.

"Hey, Gaz," Dib started tentatively. I rolled my eyes and grunted.

"What, Dib?"

"Do you have a…a plan, or something? I mean…you seem pretty confident that we're gonna find Zim." We stopped walking so I could look at him. I did my best to send him an "I-know-what-I'm-doing" look. He was ruining my silence. Idiot.

"Well Dib, it's simple." He pushed his glasses up his nose with the hand that wasn't holding Gir's.

"How so?" I pulled out my Game Slave and waved it in his face.

"That moron Zim may have reprogrammed Computer, but he didn't remove him from my GS." I turned it on and began scrolling through the information. "This technically isn't Computer anymore anyway; we've totally lost our connection to Zim's computer." I found what I was looking for and shoved it into Dib. "Look; we have the entire guide to Irk at our fingertips." Dib held the Game Slave up and studied the picture. He looked at me and smiled.

"You know, you're pretty genius sometimes." I shrugged.

"Well, Dad _is_ a super-scientist. All his genes had to go somewhere. Anyway, you still know where Tak's ship is?" Dib nodded, missing the insult.

"It's on top of the crane at the City Cesspool. It wore itself out trying to erase my memories and it never woke up." I pulled out my cell phone and checked the time, six-thirty. I did some mental math.

"I say we go home, pack a bag each of necessities, get some rest and start our trip tomorrow." Dib nodded, then opened his eyes.

"Wait, trip?" I slapped my forehead, and then I slapped Dib's.

"Have you not been paying attention at _all_? We're going after Zim, and we're using Tak's ship. Don't even bother arguing, you know you'll lose." Dib opened his mouth, sighed, and then closed it again. He nodded in defeat. We continued walking home, only the street lights guiding our path. As we reached the front door and I unlocked it, Dib spoke again.

"Gaz, why _are_ you so mad at Zim? I know you said you weren't going to tell me, but…please? If you're going to drag me to outer space, the least you can do is tell me why." I turned to glare at him, but all I saw was his brown eyes, shiny and big, like some big-headed puppy. I opened the door and gestured at the couch.

"You'll have to sit down if you want to talk." He stepped over the threshold and into the living room. He set the (now asleep) Gir in one of the chairs, turning to sit on one end of the couch. He adjusted his glasses and stared at me expectantly. I sighed, knowing this was going to be a long conversation. Probably an uncomfortable one, too. I reluctantly sank into the other side of the couch and eyed Dib, wondering how to start.

"Dib, you have to understand something before I go and tell you this."

"What?"

"If you _ever _tell _anyone_ about this, I will not only obliterate your _entire_ paranormal collection, but I will do so by condensing it all in the garbage compactor, then inserting it through your ear into your paranormal head. Understood?" He gulped and nodded, gently tugging at his collar with a finger. I leaned against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes.

"First off, I don't hate _Mysterious Mysteries._"

"WHAT?" I glared at him out of the corner of my eye, willing him to shut up. He nodded in understanding and folded his hands in his lap. I continued.

"I never did, I just told you that because I like making you feel bad. You may feel weird about this…but…I've always wanted aliens to come and take me away." I slit one eye open and peered at him. He was forcing himself not to talk by biting his fist. I forced away my smile; oh, how I loved seeing Dib in pain.

"All right...it comes to this: I...I like Zim." I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, anticipating the outburst of annoying voice. It didn't come. I opened one eye to see Dib smiling. I slapped him.

"Why do you have that stupid grin on your face?" He leaned back, lacing his hands behind his head. He closed his eyes.

"I'm smiling because I know Zim has been dealing with more torture than an autopsy table could ever give in the past years, and here you've been hiding the answer to his pain all along." I raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean, _Dib_?" I began gritting my teeth. He started laughing that annoying Dib-laugh of his.

"Zim has liked you since we first started hanging out!" He laughed full-throttle. My eye twitched.

Oh, Dib. How I will make you pay.

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><p><strong>Yay, end of the filler chapter! See you all tomorrow! Please point out any flaws so I can fix them. Thanks and have a great day!<strong>

**Irken-love,**

**TheWhyteRabbyt**


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry for the late update everyone! I have been working at my old church's soup kitchen on Wednesdays...so posts on Wednesdays will most likely come in late.**

**This was one of my favorite chapters to write. With the one piece of "advice" from my shredder review I could use, I decided to write more of a DaTR chapter. Although it's a little sad, it's very lovely as well (in my humble opinion). Hope you like it.**

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><p><span>Chapter 17<span>

I was awake when I shouldn't have been. It wasn't surprising; most of my life had been that way since….

Tak.

God, I missed her. Of course, I was _really_ ticked off that she had lied to me and used me and was really a worse alien than Zim was the whole time I knew her…but I couldn't help but miss the short relationship we had…_before_ I found all that out.

She had been the only person to listen to me…to not make fun of me….

She was the only person who didn't tell me I had a big head.

I rolled over, pulling a pillow over my head to drown out the thoughts. I _had_ a _mission_ for crying out loud! I couldn't afford to stay up all night…wishing…hoping…. I couldn't waste any more time hoping that maybe someday the only girl who ever appreciated me (albeit for a mere couple of days) would come back. I had to snap out of it! She was an alien and I….

I was just me.

I'm just "stupid, big-headed" Dib. I talk to myself. I obsess over the paranormal. No average girl would want anything to do with me, so why would one as fantastic as Tak even blink an eyelash at me? Do Irkens even _have _eyelashes? I sat up and shook my head a couple times. Leaning forward, I placed a hand across my forehead, rubbing my temples with my thumb and forefinger. Maybe the headache _was_ just from Gaz's…ugh, _pig-oriented_ punishment…but maybe it was something more. My hand trailed down and stopped on my chest, right over my heart.

_Maybe it's heartache too._

I pulled my blanket around me like a shawl, as if I could keep out the world for a few short minutes. I had carried so much weight for so long; I had to take care of my sister because my dad was hardly around anymore…I had to try and protect the world for a year or two. I sighed. Why couldn't I just have someone to _talk_ to every once in a while? Someone…who…I don't know…could share my weight? Someone who would stand by me and make me feel that I wasn't just _Dib..._that I was someone special? Just as the self-pity threatened to cloud in around me and destroy my hope, I pulled some of my trademark optimism out of a proverbial back-pocket.

Maybe I _didn't_ have someone to love and to love me, but I had the next best thing. I had a sister, and even though she can be rather…harsh…sometimes, I know we've been there for each other throughout the past. I also had an idiotic, insane alien as my best friend. We tried to kill each other countless times in elementary, but we had held the other up so often in recent years that our friendship bordered on…brotherhood.

It was a sarcastic, spiteful, mean-spirited-in-a-psycho-way kind of brotherhood, but brotherhood nonetheless.

Yeah, I thought as a yawn came over me, like some warm blanket of a night-time guardian. I pushed the thought that I could have a friendly ghost in my room far, far away. I leaned back on my pillow, pulling my blanket up and around my chin. Warm and comforting…just like home should be. I stretched an arm and leg out, splaying in the safety of my bed. In my now half-asleep state, I began tossing and turning, muttering to the dreamlike whispers that trailed along my ear.

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><p>Dib<em>, a voice whispered in my ear. I mumbled a response.<em>

Dib, won't you tell me how you've been? _The voice was lovely. Feminine, yet confident. Intelligent. I saw a figure…was it…green? Or was it white? What were they wearing? It looked like a purple dress…. Maybe it was some sort of uniform. The figure batted their eyes. Whoever they were, they had the prettiest eyelashes I had ever seen._

Dib, come here and chat. We have a lot of catching up to do. I want to know everything about you. _I found myself sitting by the figure. It was definitely a girl. She flickered between green and a very pale off-white color. When she was white, her face was framed by spiky purple tresses. She fluttered her long, lush eyelashes again. They were mesmerizing, like black-velvet butterfly wings. The girl extended her arms to me, asking for embrace. I leaned into her. She stroked the back of my head and down my spine. I inhaled, smelling lilac._

Dib, won't you speak to me? _Oh, how I wanted to. I wanted to tell her all about my recent adventures. I wanted to tell her about my friendship with Zim. I wanted to tell her how I was going into space to find him to protect my baby sister's heart. The shadow of a thought flickered across my mind; would she be impressed that I cared about my family so much? I opened my mouth, trying to give her the conversation she wanted. Suddenly, everything became very vibrant and clear. The veil of fog lifted from my dream-mind, and I observed the girl who held me in her arms. I pulled back. She smiled. God, how I loved that smile. Tears came to my eyes and I rushed back to the embrace; I rushed back to those perfect arms._

I've missed you, Tak. Oh God, how I've missed you. _She held me close to her heart and continued stroking my hair and back._

I know, Dib. I know.

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><p><strong>Aw, wasn't little Dibby cute right then? I simply <em>adore<em> DaTR! I think they make such a good pair!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Ooh, I _really _like this one! Tak is so awesome because she's feisty, but in a completely un-Gaz way. She just has this aura of cool around her.**

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><p><span>C<span>hapter 18

I chewed my last square of chocolate thoughtfully. My free hand trailed through the ash and dirt. What had happened here? Was the Hi-Skool remodeling? Had there been a terrible accident with beavers? I stood, examining the unscathed surrounding buildings. All the classrooms were fine, but the cafeteria…. I scoffed. Of _course_, right when I decided it's the perfect time to exact my revenge upon the hideous blight that was Zim, one of the few places I knew I would find him is destroyed. It was _just my luck_.

I dusted my hands off on my pant leg. Mimi approached me, I having signaled her with my tracking button. She eyed me appraisingly, her red cat eyes slivering. She awaited her orders.

"I'm not sure what happened here, Mimi, but I know we can't sit here like morons and wait for fate to come to us. We should try to find him at his pathetic excuse for a base." She nodded. I signaled for my newest ship to come pick us up. I tapped my foot, pressing a hand to my chin. I pondered whether or not Zim had destroyed the cafeteria…but that wouldn't make sense! He was without a mission—without a _planet—_why would he get rid of the last place he could call home? A thought came into my head: maybe the humans had discovered him! Fear briefly flashed across my mind; what if the humans found me? My mind drifted back to the idiots who occupied my classrooms at my school.

No, they would _never_ discover him. No matter how obvious he made it.

My ship approached, gently gliding down and opening the windshield. I followed Mimi in and set the coordinates for Zim's base, still wondering what could have prompted the utter destruction I had just inspected. We arrived faster than my submersed mind could catch. I stared out the windshield at the neon green house. What a _ridiculous_ disguise. The windshield popped open and I slid out onto the ground, Mimi shot down, past my ankles and straight to the door. I followed at a cautious Invader pace. I pounded my fist on the door.

"Zim! Open up," I shouted. "I know you're hiding in there, as you should be, you fool. Let me in so I can destroy you!" Mimi and I waited. There was silence. No indignant yelling, no objects crashing around inside…no Gir. My patience grew thin before disappearing altogether and I kicked the door open, stepping through to inspect the pitiful base. My eyes were immediately overwhelmed by the darkness. Mimi launched herself into the recesses of the base, searching for anything that could help us...and any sign of a threat. I pulled out a small ray gun in the event that something dangerous attacked, then threw open the nearby closet door. I recognized Zim's robotic parents from my previous visit. They were disabled beyond repair; their circuits completely useless, their bodies crumpled into a mish-mash of shapes. I closed the door and went after Mimi. She had disappeared into Zim's labs. I gagged as I stepped into his toilet elevator, feeling as though I needed to take a chalk bath. As the elevator came to a stop, I examined my surroundings.

The first thought that came into my head was that the Tallest had disposed of Zim...thoroughly. I was about to grit my teeth and grumble with disappointment, but Mimi approached—in SIR unit form—and saluted.

"What do you have to report?" I asked quietly.

"Master, having manually decoded the last transmission received to this base, I have analyzed that Zim has left the planet, and two of the human species are looking for him." I raised an eyebrow.

"Anything else?" Mimi hung her head.

"I'm sorry, Master. The code was very poor quality due to the destruction suffered by the main control console." I nodded and patted her on the head.

"Excellent work, Mimi. I only wish we could have found out who the humans were…it would have been helpful to know their identities so we could wring some information out of them. I suppose that's all we can glean for now; let's go back to the base." Mimi switched back to her cat disguise and we headed for home.

"Dib!" I shot up from my Sleeper Seat, falling back slightly since my Pak was still connected to the plug. "Dib and his younger sister! They _must _be the humans that went to Zim's base!" How could I have not remembered? Dib was the human child who I had used as a cover during my previous stay on Earth. In my idle state, I had recalled his name (even without Mimi unlocking the First Attempt Files)…along with his purpose. His whole life was dedicated to trying to expose Zim for what he was…. I scratched my antennae.

Odd…even when he discovered my true identity, his only goal in regards to me was to stop my scheme and save his planet. He had never tried to expose _me_. The thought made my breath catch in my throat. What if my false friendship had turned his delicate human feelings into something…_more_? Ugh! I pressed a fist to my forehead! Now I had to deal with a human who was in love with me! That could make things very…_complicated_. I leaned back in my Sleeper Seat.

No, I wouldn't jump to action tonight. Humans were far too stupid to get very far in one day. I would simply pursue him in the morning. As I drifted back to sleep, a single thought crossed my mind.

_I wonder what he would see in me now?_

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><p><strong>Wasn't that...delicious? We all know that at the heart of every girl, no matter how cold on the outside, there are feelings and thoughts constantly occupied with self-evaluation. Tak would <em>totally <em>care about Dib had she used human growth hormone to increase her height. Anyway, that's all I have for now, and since I am utterly _exhausted_, I'm off to relax. As always, have a wonderful night and a beautiful morning tomorrow!**

**Irken love! 3**


	19. Chapter 19

**Another late update! I'm soooo sorry! I was out driving with my sister all day. I don't really see her that often.**

**Anyhoo, this chapter is done in a montage-y fashion to launch us _right_ into space...literally! I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><span>Chapter 19<span>

I held my nose, resisting the urge to wretch at the disgusting smell.

The City Cesspool.

It was bad enough that we had to wake up early in order to get as much done as possible and leave today, but the fact that Dib had left this stupid ship out _here_ had me clenching my fists and counting to ten multiple times, trying not to deck him and doom him to the rancid garbage slops below.

"C'mon, Gaz…it's not _that_ bad…." Dib ventured precariously out to get the ship. I decided to hang back and make him do all the work as punishment.

"You're just saying that because you're used to your gym clothes. We both know you never wash those things." I sneered nasally at him.

"That's because I always skip gym." He seemed pleased with himself. I rolled my eyes behind my squint.

"Just…hurry up and get the ship working so we can drop Gir off at Zim's house and get out of here. It's already three." He opened the ship's windshield and began powering up. He gestured at me.

"I need your Game Slave."

"Why?"

"So I can turn this on without it attacking us. Just toss it to me." I eyed Dib's hand. I eyed the swirling vortex of never-ending filth below. I weighed the options of Dib's bad coordination and my general bad luck. Deciding not to chance it, I began inching my way across the crane arm. Dib raised a questioning eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" I kicked sludge at him from the edge of my boot.

"I'm coming out so you can't drop my most prized possession into the world's bowels." He seemed to analyze the statement for a moment, and then nodded his consent. I almost slipped, but managed to save myself with Dib's nose.

"Hey, that's attached!" He shouted indignantly. I stuck my tongue out at him and climbed into the maroon ship. I searched for a wire that looked similar to the docking wire in Zim's house. If I could plug my Game Slave into the ship, it would save us the trouble of having to download a personality. Dib's was obviously insane (not to mention _grotesquely _big-headed), and mine would probably try to feed us to piggies.

"Hey…I can just try re-downloading my personality…" Dib offered.

I shoved him into the now-closed windshield, having found the docking wire. I plugged in my Game Slave and turned it on. The entire ship powered on very quickly.

"Welcome, Gaz Membrane. We are initiating final repairs to the flight thrusters," it said in a cool, female voice. I smirked.

"Pretty nice. Now, let's get Gir home and get out of here." I cracked my knuckles, ready to try my hand at the Irken controls. I activated the cloaking button and eased forward on the command stick. The ship leapt forward, landing on a far-away building. Dib recovered from his face meeting the windshield.

"Don't you think it would be a good idea to bring Gir along? I mean, since he knows about alien technology?" Dib cowered as I sent him my most ferocious "don't-even-try" face.

"That stupid robot doesn't know _anything_." I hissed. "He'd probably get us killed by trying to stop for space tacos, or something stupid like that." Dib held a finger to his chin thoughtfully.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Good thinking Gaz!"

"Why do you have to have a head?" I muttered.

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><p>"Bye Gazzy! Bye Big-Head Boy!" Gir waved and grinned, sticking his tongue out. I felt kind of bad leaving him home alone as we went off into space to doom his master, but then I remembered the state we found our house in after returning with Tak's ship.<p>

So much waffle batter…and that poor squid. I shuddered.

In the end, we figured if we bought him a huge supply of tacos and chocolate-bubblegum Suck-Monkeys, he'd be okay for a few days. At the rate I was planning to fly, I figured that's about all it would take. Dib waved back at the little robot, which was quickly fading into the distance. I smacked Dib's arm to get his attention.

"Hey loser, where do you think would be a good place to launch from?" Dib rubbed his arm.

"Does it really matter? I thought we could just shoot into space." I smacked his arm again.

"Yeah, that would be real smart. Let's just fly up in a _very noticeable _alien spacecraft, and maybe the entire town won't notice. Out of all these weirdoes, there has _got _to be another big-headed lunatic like you." The cloaking device had sputtered and failed almost as soon as we had reached our house. The wires must have been ruined while fighting in the past. Dib rubbed his arm more intently.

"Okay, yeah…good point. I suppose there's always," he paused for dramatic effect, "Mystery Hill." I opened an eye to peer sidelong at him. No…the beavers…the old truck… I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent the flashbacks. I slumped back into the drive seat. There was really no other way around it. I set the coordinates into the computer and flew off.

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><p>We arrived faster than I had anticipated, which put me in a very, <em>very<em> good mood. So good, in fact, that I backhanded Dib, who had fallen asleep. He yelped and blinked blearily at me.

"Wha's gon on?" He mumbled. I pointed at the sky.

"Are you ready for this?" He snapped to attention.

"What? We're going?" I initiated a launch sequence that would sling us far past the earth's gravitational pull. As the ship leaned back and the launch belts strapped across us, I smiled. When the ship shot forward and the world blurred like a wormhole, I opened my eyes and grinned.

_Finally. I'm finally leaving._


	20. Chapter 20

**Here's chapter 20! It's got two of my fav characters...Skoodge _and_ Minimoose! Psst...there's a surprise at the end too. ;)**

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><p><span>Chapter 20<span>

I straightened my Invader's uniform. It really _was_ a shame I hadn't had the chance to wash it since…the _dookie _incident. Blorch perfumes could only mask so much. Maybe Zim would have a washer! I sighed longingly; maybe he would have some cleansing chalk too! I examined myself in my portable Pak mirror and then knocked on the door.

No answer. I knocked again.

Suddenly, the _universe_ seemed to explode in a blinding flash of cyan and the highest-pitched squeal I had ever heard. My head shot through with pain as it made contact with the pavement.

"MASTER! Is that you?" Something dripped onto my face…something sticky and sweet-smelling. I opened my eyes. A small silver robot stood on my chest, staring into my eyes with its bright cyan bulbs. Its open mouth dripped a strange fluid all over my already filthy uniform. It held a container in its hands.

"Suck…Suck-Monkey?" I mused aloud. The robot's smile faltered for a moment.

"Aw, you're not my master. You're my master's friend! You're the fat one!" I stood and stomped my foot indignantly.

"I'm _not_ fat! I'm _stocky_!" I frowned and crossed my arms. The robot continued to slurp at its drink…along with staring at me.

"Um…is Zim here?" I began twiddling my thumbs. The robot continued staring. Suddenly it grinned.

"I'm Gir." I blinked.

"O…okay." Suddenly, a small, round, brown creature with off-white horns appeared. It squeaked at me. I looked back at it curiously. Pointing at it, I leaned close to "Gir".

"What is that?" The robot turned, walked into the house and plopped down on a couch.

"That's just Minimoose! He's my friend…Master said he was like another me, just better at my job! I don't really know what that means though…Minimoose has nubses of doom!" I followed the robot and sat on the couch. My disappointment caught up with my optimism at having found these two random characters.

"Zim isn't here…is he?" The robot turned and looked at me. Its squeaky voice rose from a normal level to a shriek.

"Master went off to space 'cause he made Gazzy mad! Gazzy wants to doom my master…it's gonna be funny! So Gazzy and the Big-Head Boy went off into space to follow my master to Floist! I like floistcake…I only had it once, and it was a hologram!" I blinked, trying to take in all of the information at once. Jumping up, I began pacing the floor to better use my Irken military training to divulge the mystery of what the friendly robot was talking about. The apparent "Minimoose" followed my pacing.

Zim had gone to space to escape the wrath of one of these humans (or so I guessed). If they were terrifying enough to scare him off a mission, not to mention build their own spacecraft capable of pursuing him all the way to _Floist_….

"Zim is in horrible trouble!" I threw my hands in the air. "We have to save him!" Minimoose squeaked. I turned and pointed at him.

"_Exactly!_ These _humans_ must be more advance than Zim let on! What if they've already gotten to him? Gir! Gir, we have to go save your master... Will you and Minimoose come with me? I might need back-up!" Gir threw his drink at the large screen across from the couch and giggled madly.

"Yay, we're gonna go on a venture! I should go pack!" He ran to a back room.

"I'm gonna missy you Pig! I'm gonna miss you so much!" Gir threw his skinny metallic arms around a very bewildered pig-creature. It blinked and continued chewing…whatever it was that it was chewing. Gir shoved a waffle in its mouth, waved goodbye, and then joined Minimoose and I in my Voot Cruiser. I patted Gir on the head as he looked longingly at the Pig behind us.

"It's okay, Gir; we'll be back before you know it." Gir turned to me with tear-filled eyes.

"I miss my cupcake." Gir pulled a small rubber pig out of his pocket and began squishing it to hear it squeak. I turned back in time to see us entering space. As the blackness enveloped us, I entered the coordinates for planet Floist. Minimoose let out an encouraging squeak. Gir giggled quietly.

"Maybe we can stop for space tacos!"

END OF BOOK I

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><p><strong>Dun dun dunnnnnn! Betcha didn't expect <em>THAT<em>! Yes, I have decided that I am about halfway through my pre-written plot, and since 20 chapters is already pushing it for length, it would be kind of cool to split it into two books. I hope you've like my first real story. If you did, keep your eyes open for _In the Realm of Ice and Fire_, it's the sequel! Ciao-ciao all!**

**Irken love and Provehito Excelsior!**

**THEWHYTERABBYT  
><strong>


	21. Update

**Just thought I should let you all know…_ In the Realm of Ice and Fire_, the sequel to _It Really Irks Me_, is posting. Here's the link:**

**.net/s/7957740/1/In_the_Realm_of_Ice_and_Fire**

**(just put this after "fanfiction" in your web address bar. I miss all my old readers!)**

**Love ya'll!**

**~TheWhyteRabbyt**


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